| 1317 
yanditswe na Joseph
Gukundana hagati y’umukobwa n’umuhungu ni ibintu byoroha, iyo bari mu rukundo rubaryoheye nta yindi mbogamizi bafite baba bumva iherezo ari ukwibanira. Ariko kubana n’umuntu ubuzima bwose ntibyoroha na gato kuko ubihuriramo na byinshi by’imbogamizi akenshi ukanicuza wibwira ko uwo mubana atari we mwari mukwiye kubana. Gusa, urukundo rw’abashakanye basezeranye kubana ubuziraherezo ni urwo guhora rusigasirwa kugira ngo rudacubangana ukabihirwa n’ubwo buzima butakorohera kubwikuramo. Wowe mugore ushobora kuba wibaza uburyo wasigasira uru rukundo kugira ngo umugabo wawe ahorane urukundo rumeze nk’urwo yari agufitiye mugiteretana, mukirambagizanya, urubuga aufemminin.fr ruraguha ibintu 10 wakagombye gufata nk’amategeko byagusubiza ibi bibazo waba wibaza :
1- Hora uzana udushya : Ibi bishya ubizana nyuma yo kumwigaho ukamenya ibimushimisha. Ibi kandi ubikorera kugira ngo ajye akubonamo umuntu mushya, ahore yiyumvamo ko ari nk’aho mugitangira gukundana. Ibi ushobora kubikora mu buryo utegura amafunguro, kumusohokana ahantu runaka hajyanye n’ubushobozi ufite, kwiga ibimenyetso bishya bitandukanye n’ibyo wari usanzwe umukoreshaho cyangwa n’uburyo wamwifatagaho, amagambo mashya cyane cyane amazina umwita (cheri, chou, honey,…)
2- Gerageza umwereke ko hari impano ufite mu buzima busanzwe :Uririnde ko igikorwa cyo gutera akabariro cyaba ikibazo hagati yanyu, niyo we yaba abishaka wowe utabishaka cyangwa wowe ubishaka we atabishaka , menya uburyo ubyitwaramo. Ukwiye kugira ukwihangana igihe hari ikosa yagukoreye kandi niba ryamuteye isoni mwereke ubupfura umuganirize kandi umwereke urukundo rurenzeho kugira ngo umwereke ko nta nzika wamugiriye, mutungure umusome igihe muri ahantu atatekerezaga ko wabimukorera, muri izi mpano kandi niba uzi kuririmba mutungure ubimukorere, umushushanyirize, umukorere n’akandi kantu ako ari kose k’ubukorikori bwawe….
3- Ihagarareho niba agusabye gukora ibitakurimo wikwemera ko ibitekerezo bye gusa aribyo bibayobora kuko nawe ufite uruhare mu myubakire y’urugo rwanyu, ntumwereke ko umusuzuguye ahubwo ubyange mu bwenge, kandi urebe uburyo wamuganirizamo umugira inama umwereka ko icyo kintu ari kuguhatira gukora nta kamaro bibafitiye cyangwa ko cyabagiraho ingaruka mbi. N’ubwo kandi wamwangira gukora iki, wimwereka ko umutakarije ikizere, mwereke ko n’ubwo igitekerezo cye ukinenze ariko ukomeza kumwizera nk’umukunzi wawe w’ubuziraherezo.
4- Wifuhira urukundo rw’umugabo wawe na nyokobukwe ; Ereka umugabo wawe ko umwubahira kandi ukamukundira nyina. Nta kintu na kimwe cyakura umwana ku mubyeyi we, niyo mpamvu n’ubwo nyokobukwe yaba adashobotse wowe ugerageza kubyirengagiza ukamwereka ko umwubashye kandi umukunda, wikwereka umugabo wawe ko ufuhiye ibikorwa akoreye nyina ahubwo mwegere mubiganireho umufashe gushyira mu gaciro na cyane ko umugabo iyo umugushije neza atabura kumva igitekerezo cyawe. Aha kandi umugabo wawe nabona ukundana na nyina nawe azarushaho kugukunda.
5- Hora wumva umugabo wawe ; ntukigere wibagirwa kumubaza uko ameze, umubaza uburyo umunsi uri kumugendera, ereka umugabo wawe ko ufite ubushake bwo kumufasha muri gahunda ze zitandukanye yaba izifitiye urugo akamaro ndetse n’izimufitiye akamaro wenyine, umube hafi cyane kandi buri gihe no mu bikomeye.
6- Kirazira kunegurira umugabo wawe abandi bantu ; Imiterere, imimerere, imibereho yanyu ni ibanga ryanyu mwembi, ntukagende uvuga ko umugabo wawe agona cyane, uburyo yitwara mu buriri... Niba hari icyo ubona ku mugabo wawe ukeneye kugishaho inama kuko wumva kikubangamiye, hamagara wa muntu mukuru w’inshuti yawe magara cyangwa ye magara maze abe ariwe ugisha inama wenyine naho kumutaramana mu bandi bagore ni bibi cyane.
7- Horana isuku ; ntukibwire ko kuba mumaranye igihe kinini musangira ubuzima bwihariye ariyo mpamvu wagaragara uko wiboneye kose imbere ye, hora uharanira kugaragara neza mu maso ye, kora byose kugira ngo urusheho kumunyura no kumukurura utaretse no kumwigarurira nk’aho ari umunsi wa mbere mubonanye kuko abagabo bakunda umugore ugira isuku aho ava akagera.
8- Ntukigere ubuza umugabo wawe ubwisanzure ; Mu mibanire y’abashakanye ntawe ukwiye kubuzwa amahoro na mugenzi we, ntawe ukwiye kugira imfungwa, buri wese agomba guhorana ubwisanzure n’umudendezo bye nibwo aryoherwa n’urugo. Ibi kandi birinda kubeshyana no guhishanya.
9- Garagaza amarangamutima n’ibyiyumviro byawe ku mugabo wawe, niba wumva ushaka kumubwira ko umukunda bikore, wibyihererana, mubwire ibyiza bye, ibyo ukunda kuri we... Ibi bikomeza kumwereka ko urukundo umufitiye ruhoraho kandi rukura uko bukeye n’uko bwije.
10- Gira imishinga utegura kandi uyigeze ku mugabo wawe ; ubushobozi bwose waba ufite, nta muntu ubura imishinga mu mutwe we no mu bitekerezo bye niyo byaba ari inzozi ubona nta bushobozi bwo kuyishyira mu bikorwa.
Si byiza kandi nta n’umugabo wifuza ko we n’umugore we bahora baryoshya, babwirana ko bakundana gusa,….ahubwo ni byiza ko muri urwo rukundo mu rwego rwo kurukomeza mupanga n’uburyo mwagira ubushobozi bwisumbuye kubwo mufite. Ibi byongerera umugabo kubona ko uri umugore umufitiye akamaro atari mu buriri gusa ahubwo no mu iterambere ry’ubuzima busanzwe. Ibi kandi bimwongerera kukubaha no guhora akwifuza no kumva ko yahisemo neza.
MUKAHIRWA Olive
Umuryango.com
